Grieving a Pet
Nobody mourns the same way; there is no right or wrong way when it comes to grieving a pet or processing the loss of your loved one. It is, however, important to move along in the grieving process so that you can enjoy the memories you shared rather than lingering on the pain of their loss.
Following are suggestions and resources to help you through this difficult time, including how Dr. Jones processed the loss of her own pets, most recently, Puddin.
The Grieving Process
The grieving process may begin before a loved one has actually passed. This often occurs in the case of long illnesses or degenerative conditions. It is ok to feel the feelings before they are gone.
Giving your pet the best last day or days that you can creates new memories for you to look back on – take them to do their favorite things, let them eat things they are not normally allowed (avoid higher fat foods and chocolate until close to time for euthanasia as they may cause vomiting)
Write a list or letter of all the things you don’t want to forget, that made them the greatest pet, that was unique about them, and your favorite memories. Dr. Jones includes why she made the decision to say goodbye when she did, so she does not later doubt her decision. She writes her list while waiting for her pet’s cremains to come back and places it in the urn with them. If you are not getting ashes back, create a small box for your note and other memorabilia.
Gather their favorite things and place them in the urn or box you are creating. Dr. Jones’ pets have pieces of their favorite blankets, toys, dried grass, and pictures of objects or food in their urns.
Art Therapy
Art of any kind can be therapeutic. Get ink pawprints and copy them to decorate around if you are afraid of ruining the original; draw pictures of your pet, make a collage of your favorite photos. For Dr. Jones, her art therapy was – when she was ready – to paint Puddin’s clay pawprint (can only be done on hard clay, not the kind in the black box that we provide). Get an extra if you are thinking you want to, but don’t want to damage the original. If you want paw prints on particular materials, please bring them to your appointment and we will do our best to accommodate your request.
Grieving a Pet is Personal
Helpful Resources for Grief
Pet Loss Grief Resources | Best Friends Animal Society
Resources--Free-Pet-Loss-Support--English
10 Healing Grief Activities That Can Help You Deal With Loss | Love To Know
8 Grief Activities for Kids
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.”
– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross